When it comes to friendship, each personality type brings something unique to the table. From something as complex as emotional support to something as simple as having a good laugh, good friends know how to take care of it all.
They are also fantastic at making us feel loved and appreciated. Especially when they know what the other person is looking for in a friend.
And that is where the interplay between likability, personality, and friendship comes into being.
According to Myers-Briggs, each of the 16 personality types views the world of friendship through its own lens. They look for friends who support their values and the efforts they put into understanding how to be a good friend.
How do both these aspects come together to create lasting friendships? Let us take a look.
Related: Good First Date Ideas for the 16 Personality Types of the Myers-Briggs
Which Personality Type Makes for a Good Friend?
One's ability to be a good friend depends more on what the other person seeks in a friendship. If you can fulfill that criteria, obtaining the "true friend" title becomes easy.
However, research shows a strong correlation between personality and friendship. Interactions of different aspects of personality among people play a significant role in initiating, progressing, and ending friendships.
Be it the eight personality dimensions discussed by Myers-Briggs or the Big Five model of personality, all help to understand what individuals look for in a friendship based on what they need in their own lives. Some insight into such traits also helps one know how to be a good friend to someone else.
We can use the Big Five Traits of personality to explore our individual relationship styles and how that may impact how we are with our friends.
- An individual's ability to experience openness allows them to be more interactive and open to new things. When paired with extraversion, the process gets much easier to handle.
- Another aspect of the model that helps cultivate better friendships is conscientiousness. It is the ability of one to remain thoughtful in one's actions while aiming to reach goals that one sets for oneself. Practicing kindness and honesty through the trait of agreeableness helps, too.
- When it comes to high neuroticism, one would want to tread carefully to reduce irritability and anger. Both make it difficult to understand how to be a good friend.
However, knowing how to be a good friend is a much more subjective experience than we think. It depends on an individual's personality traits and what the other party looks for in a good friend. For example, an introverted person may need different strategies to make, build, and sustain quality friendships than someone who is extroverted and outgoing.
And that is what we will explore: tips on how to be a good friend according to the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types.
How To Be a Better Friend as an INFP
An INFP looks for one thing when choosing a friend: an authentic personality. They believe the cornerstone of a lasting friendship is the trust the other person puts in them. The more honest a friend is, the stronger the relationship becomes. They value genuineness and expect their friends to be their actual selves with them without being deceitful.
Tailor-made for the job, an INFP is the kind of friend everyone dreams about. Loyal and considerate, they always show support and empathy towards their friends. They believe that creating a non-judgmental space helps cultivate healthy friendships that go a long way. After all, everyone wants to be heard, and them being a good listener helps.
However, INFPs do struggle when it comes to communicating their needs to others. They prefer staying in their bubble and sorting out their problems independently. This usually makes it difficult for their friends to reach out to them, especially in times of need.
INFPs can work on this by practicing authenticity with their friends, too. While they look for an honest outlook toward the lives of their friends, they can allow others to do the same for them, especially when they need a good friend standing by their side.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ENFP
A friend who thinks outside the box is a good friend in the eyes of an ENFP. This personality type craves adventure and is always looking for people who share that passion. ENFPs want to explore, and they want friends for whom the idea is equally important. After all, no one wants to climb the tallest mountain alone.
And when an ENFP finds their ideal friend, they cheer them on till the finish line. ENFPs find joy in making their friends feel confident and inspired. They prefer staying involved in everyone's life to guide them in the best way possible.
For an ENFP, pushing others to step out of their comfort zones is a key component of a strong friendship. They believe that doing so allows their friends to reach their highest potential. However, the process can become a little draining for both parties.
What ENFPs need to remember is that only some enjoy this. Hence, ENFPs might come off as being a bit pushy for people who prefer staying where they are comfortable. To manage this, an ENFP needs to cultivate respect for the emotional needs of others. For that, sending out positive affirmations for success and words of encouragement might be the trick.
How To Be a Better Friend as an INFJ
INFJs are interested in one thing when it comes to choosing a good friend: less drama. They value an uncomplicated, happy life and believe friendships should be the same. They prefer sorting our problems calmly, and like having this quality in their friends too.
INFJs are insightful souls. They spend their time understanding what the other person is going through and aim to help them in their tough times. All while providing room for them to express themselves. They believe that good friendships are not built on secrets. Hence, they expect transparency from their friends.
However, for some people, being so transparent is not possible. Especially when the friendship is new, and for many, such a need might come off as being emotionally invasive.
Therefore, INFJs must take their time to create a safe space for their friends. They should focus on what their friends want to say rather than what they want to hear. Focusing on listening helps INFJs be better friends in the long run.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ENFJ
ENFJs value friendships based on mutual empathy and respect. They believe that solid friendships form when both parties put in equal effort. A good friend for an ENFJ is someone who invests in personal connections. As long as an individual reciprocates, ENFJs are happy.
As a friend, ENFJs act more like a mentor. They love playing an active role in the lives of their closest friends and always strive to see the best in them. They love to spend time cultivating close relationships and are always on the lookout for ways to improve the strength of their friendships.
However, ENFJs might feel too involved for some, especially for people who prefer and value their privacy. For them, their relationship with an ENFJ might quickly turn into a toxic friendship merely due to a lack of boundaries.
To reduce the chances of that happening, an ENFJ must listen more. This helps establish feelings of trust and allows friends to feel more comfortable in the relationship. Though worrying about the lives of their friends is what they do, ENFJs need to know how to connect in the way they need.
How To Be a Better Friend as an INTP
The INTP personality type chooses friends based on their ability to be direct and thoughtful. They rarely go for individuals who love playing emotional games. They want their friends to be clear and concise with what they want. In short, they do not want any drama.
INTPs themselves are quite collected. They look at a problem calmly and focus on finding a solution rather than worrying excessively. They prove to be reliable friends who are always there to help. One of the most remarkable qualities of INTPs is their ability to be happy for others. All without any jealousy whatsoever.
However, this personality type usually is very reserved. They prefer avoiding conflicts and staying out of the limelight. Because of this, they might end up feeling unheard from time to time.
For an INTP, understanding that their problems matter too is crucial. Only then can they express their concerns to the world that they remain so eager to help. After all, personal well-being and emotional health are also essential. And INTPs need to acknowledge that.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ENTP
A good friend for an ENTP is someone willing to cross boundaries — someone who challenges the world and is ready to embark on endless adventures. For an ENTP, the energy should never come down.
An ENTP's body language always mirrors excitement. They are filled with energy and want to explore whatever they can. So much so that they sometimes ignore the practicality of the situation.
For certain friends, reciprocating such an energy level might not be possible, especially when they prefer staying on the mellow side. An ENTP's bluntness can also get in the way.
For this personality type, becoming a better friend involves respecting the boundaries that others set. It not only helps in strengthening the friendship but also aids in improving trust and confidence between both parties.
How To Be a Better Friend as an INTJ
Being friends with an INTJ means respecting their boundaries. Though INTJs are always there to lend a shoulder, they admire people who support them from a distance. At the same time, INTJs also prioritize intellect when choosing a friend. They value a mentally stimulating conversation and expect their close friends to be the same way.
As a friend, INTJs prove to be dependable. They always tackle challenging situations with rational insight. For them, being a good friend means correcting any wrong that might be present in their friends’ lives. Hence, they take up the role of a problem solver quite often.
However, not everyone requires them to fly in and save the day. Sometimes, active listening is important, too, especially when the other person is just looking for an emotional outlet.
Therefore, for an INTJ, a skill that goes a long way is the ability to listen without having the urge to solve a problem. The process helps them cultivate a sense of usefulness while becoming better friends.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ENTJ
For an ENTJ, a good friend is someone curious about the universe and its multiple perspectives. The personality type values a curious mindset that does not settle for traditional norms. Hence, their friendships depend greatly upon the level of ambition that the other party holds.
ENTJs enjoy a mentally stimulating conversation. At the same time, they do not back away from saying what they want. They are blunt and expect their friends to respect that. According to an ENTJ, the only way to have a better life is by hearing what you need to.
However, not everyone is comfortable with such a level of self-expression. Instead, an ENTJ's habit of spilling out what is in their mind sometimes comes off as offensive to others (not only with friends but romantic partners, too).
To help ENTJs become a better friend a tip would be to hold back their opinions occasionally. This is especially true when conversing with people who take criticism personally. It is also always a good idea to be more understanding and supportive of the situation the other person is going through.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ISFP
ISFPs value slow and meaningful interactions. They expect their friends to practice patience when getting to know them. Chaotic relations do not make sense to an INFP. Hence, the key to becoming a good friend to them is to take things slow and not be pushy.
As friends, ISFPs are reliable individuals who always know what to say. They are dependable, and people look up to them for advice. An ISFP's love for humor makes the process so much more fun to go through. After all, who does not like a bit of humor here and there?
However, friends or situations that require instant action can annoy ISFPs. This personality type is known for its easygoing nature. They take their time to assess problems thoroughly before taking action.
However, this approach might not always work, especially when friends require a quick response, for example, when making plans for the evening. To tackle this, making a priority list might help. ISFPs need to learn how to prioritize situations to support their friends in the way they require.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ESFP
The two main things ESFPs look for in a friendship are affection and affirmation. They value relationships that allow them to have a great time. This means sharing a good friend's company based on common interests.
ESFPs are outgoing individuals who have an extensive social network. They are always looking for a fun activity and love involving others. ESFPs also love to hype their friends up. Be it a gloomy day or a bit of self-doubt; an ESFP will always know how to bring the energy up.
However, this might make them seem overly optimistic at times. Moreover, having too many friends usually burns them out. They are constantly working on being present for everyone, which takes up quite a lot of energy.
It is vital to create a balance to avoid caregiver burnout. Knowing where to put their energies allows ESFPs to be more helpful towards their friends. This helps to ensure that friendships are not draining but rather good for their emotional health.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ISFJ
For an ISFJ, loyalty and non-judgmental relationships are essential. The personality type values friendships that are supportive and helpful throughout life. They hold genuineness as a major determinant of cultivating positive friendships. Hence, to be good friends with an ISFJ, respecting their trust is important.
As friends, ISFJs are incredibly considerate. They always remember the smallest details of all the people they share relationships with. Whether knowing how to manage someone's stress or remembering everyone's birthdays, an ISFJ knows it all.
Despite it all, they remain reserved when establishing new friendships.
As such, ISFJs might seem unapproachable to many. They do not initiate conversations and depend on others to make the first move. They are also prone to internalizing conflicts in relationships.
Such a habit of self-blame gets quite overwhelming for people around an ISFJ. Hence, the personality type must realize it takes two to advance a friendship. And that they are not the only ones at fault every time.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ESFJ
ESFJs value intimacy in their friendships. They choose people who are open and reliable. They appreciate people putting in effort and want friends who respect their time and energy. An ESFJ derives happiness from friendships that rely on two-way communication. A good friendship is bound to blossom if these things are present.
As friends, ESFJs are quite outgoing. They love to make plans and always want everyone around them to join. They are known for their nurturing personality and are often the caretakers of the group. They always want everyone to be comfortable while having a good time.
However, being overly caring can backfire for ESFJs. People end up expecting an ESFJ to handle everything related to the group. This can put a lot of stress on an ESFJ, making them feel overwhelmed — and uncomfortable letting anyone know they could use help.
One of the best tips to tackle such a situation is to talk to their friends to gain the support they need. To become a better friend, it is crucial to communicate regardless of who is at fault. The process can help ESFJs gain the support they need to find happiness in their relationships.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ISTJ
Simplicity is what attracts an ISTJ towards a friendship, even if it’s just an acquaintance who will only be a "friend" for a short period. ISTJs don’t need a lot to start a friendship. As long as their friends are not pretentious, an ISTJ knows the friendship is going in the right direction. They value moments more than money and want their friends to be the same. After all, memories matter a lot to ISTJs.
ISTJs prove to be responsible towards all their relationships, including friendships. They love to talk and always find a way to listen to what the other person has to say. They analyze the wrong and work to make it right. Hence, ISTJs end up being one of the most reliable friends.
However, one of the challenges they face in friendships is having difficulty accepting values and morals that might differ from theirs. Having friends with different belief systems does not sit well with an ISTJ.
Accepting individual differences and being more open-minded would be beneficial in helping an ISTJ to be a better friend. This means expanding the type of people they surround themselves with. After all diversity is the spice of life!
How To Be a Better Friend as an ESTJ
ESTJs opt for friends who are mentally stimulating and share the same set of values as them. They believe that good friends are honest, trustworthy, and intelligent. When it comes to people with the same mental caliber, ESTJs take no time to befriend them. Their need to have a shared intellect with others allows ESTJs to interact with people belonging to all ages and backgrounds.
ESTJs are known for being blunt and outspoken. They are not afraid to state their opinion out in the open. They will say what they want, even if it is something their friend might not like. This quality allows them to live a life that is free of stress.
However, being so blunt doesn't always go in their favor, especially with people who easily take offense. ESTJ’s don’t mean to hurt other people’s feelings; it just sort of “happens.”
To be better friends, ESTJs need to work on knowing what to say and when to say it. Developing the art of communication can help them control the words that come out of their mouths. Especially when it comes to passing comments on people who might take them a bit too seriously.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ISTP
ISTPs value shared experiences and in-person connections. They prefer hanging out with people who are interested in the same things as them. Having shared interests makes the friendship way more meaningful for an ISTP's well-being. They especially enjoy activities that have some type of practicality involved.
Being logical individuals, ISTPs prove to be dependable. They always have a solution to any problem that might arise and do their best to be there for the people they care about. They support their friendships through all challenges but also require time to recharge on their own.
Hence, ISTPs are known for being a bit distant from time to time. They tend to have smaller, closer-knit groups of friends. A good friend will understand that an ISTP will be there for support, but they also need to put effort into their own mental health. They can also become overwhelmed due to socializing too much.
ISTPs are fun and spontaneous but tend to require patience for someone to really get to know them. One way an ISTP can work on being a better friend is to work on trusting others and not expecting their friends to always be the ones to open up first.
How To Be a Better Friend as an ESTP
Humor and a love for adventure are what ESTPs look for in a good friendship. They want friends who know how to laugh well, especially when times get tough. At the same time, ESTPs prefer friendships that allow them to have various shared experiences that help create beautiful memories.
ESTPs are great at problem-solving. They are quick thinkers and always make room for practicality. For an ESTP, solving a problem for a friend's good fortune is no big deal. It is something that they are always ready for.
There is one thing that an ESTP does for the betterment of their own life: using their connections for their benefit. They like to create friendships that serve some purpose in different areas of life. It’s not uncommon for an ESTP to initially befriend someone at the gym because working out with a partner helps them. Or making a connection to give them a jump start in their professional life.
This is not to say that ESTPs are “users,” but they could do better at learning how to not use people and see friendships through the lens of their own needs. This will help tremendously in making your friend feel more valued, creating lasting relationships through increased trust and respect.
Friendships Matter: You Can Be Good Friends with Any Personality!
Becoming a good friend is a constant learning process. It involves knowing what our friends want from the friendship so that we can offer that while still communicating our own needs.
Being open and honest in such a relationship helps cultivate good friendships that improve mental health, increase happiness, and promote life satisfaction. Not to mention the fact science shows that healthy friendships lead to actual health benefits.
All of which are needed in today's stress-filled lives.
Remember always to strive to be our best self for others and do what we can to be a good friend to those who are good to us. Understanding the “negative” traits of our personalities can also do wonders in improving our relationships.
The MBTI and Big 5 are not the only way to view how personality impacts our relationships with others — both platonic and romantic. You can also gain a lot of insight by understanding Enneagram types in relationships and Love Languages.
