If you're an introvert, at some point in your life, you must have felt pressure to "speak up" or "speak out" even when you genuinely have nothing to say. You may not realize it, but opting to keep quiet may have caused people to make wrong assumptions about you.
We live in an extrovert-centric world, where the "ideal" person is bold, charismatic, and — very importantly — extremely chatty. Introverts do not fit this image because they are naturally quiet and less talkative, which confounds many. Unjustly, many people think introverts don't have the right skills for career advancement.
Consequently, people misunderstand introverts' quietness and make false assumptions that differ significantly from reality. We've rounded up seven popular myths about introverts and quiet people in general to set the record straight.
In this article, we explore some of the myths about introverts and untangle truth from lies so that you can better understand quiet people.
If you're an introvert, you'll find many of these relatable. If you're an extrovert, this list will help you dispel some of your biases about people who have a quiet personality.
How do people misunderstand introverts and quiet people?
Perhaps the biggest introvert myth is the belief that their personality type is not as good as extroverts. All too often, people who are quiet or introverted are viewed as having less to offer society and that it’s “better” to be extroverted and outgoing. The truth is that quiet people and introverts are often misunderstood, and as a result, others may make false assumptions about their personality and skills.
Before tackling how these beliefs and other common myths about introverts have come about, we need to understand what introverted people are like.
What comes to mind when you hear the word introvert? Is it the family member who prefers alone time with just a book or a friend who would rather stay home than attend social engagements?
An introvert has the qualities of the “introversion personality type," which means they prefer to draw their energy from themselves rather than externally. In the Big Five Model, introversion is the opposite of extroversion, seen as a low score for extroverted traits. Other personality models, such as the MBTI, also assess introversion and extroversion levels to determine which of the 16 personality types a person falls under.
While introverts draw their energy from within, extroverts seek out their energy from outside.
Many people mistake introverts for being shy and quiet people. But, while most introverts are quiet people, there is more to this personality type than just being a "quiet person."
7 Introvert Myths: What Assumptions Do People Make About Quiet People?
Over the years, some incorrect assumptions about introverts have emerged. Below, we discuss the most common and damaging ones, explain their origins, and separate facts from opinion and fantasy.
Read on to see which of these myths about introverts and assumptions about quiet people you may have been guilty of believing.
Introvert Myth # 1. Introverted and Quiet People Are Shy
One of the biggest myths about introverts is that they are always shy. It's so bad that many people use the words "shy person" and "introverted" interchangeably. However, the truth is shyness and introversion are two completely different things.
Quiet people are not necessarily shy; they just don't like small talk. In social interactions, especially new ones, they prefer to listen and spend some time observing before jumping into the conversation.
Shyness is a personality characterized by an unpleasant feeling of awkwardness and self-consciousness in the presence of others. On the other hand, introversion means a preference for lower over higher stimulating surroundings. Additionally, taking a personality test can tell if you are introverted.
In contrast, shyness manifests as a fear of interacting and talking with others. Related to this, another introvert myth is that a quiet person probably has social anxiety (or, in reverse, that extroverts are never socially anxious).
Yes, some quiet people are often shy and may struggle with social interactions, but the same is true for extroverts. As contradictory as it sounds, extroverts can be shy, too. The only difference is that it may express itself in unfamiliar ways. For example, some extroverts may function fine in large groups or crowds but tend to get self-conscious and awkward in smaller, more intimate gatherings.
Introvert Myth # 2. You're Quiet Because Something is Wrong
There are many reasons people are quiet in life, and this goes for both introverts and extroverts. And it's not unwarranted to assume someone is quiet because they are upset.
However, this belief has been amplified by our society's preference for endless talk, making it hard to take a break from any conversation without people thinking you are angry or sad.
One reason for this is that extroverts love chatty meets and can be uncomfortable with silence. They would rather fill the vacuum with anything, even empty words and small talk.
On the other hand, a quiet introvert tends to subscribe to the notion that silence is golden. They are perfectly content to sit and contemplate a moment in silence. Bonus points since it also offers them an opportunity to regain their energy.
Introvert Myth # 3. A Quiet Person Dislikes Social Interaction and Hates Small Talk
Introverts are not robots, nor do they hate people. And it's not that they can't stand small talk, per se; it's more that they are less likely to start conversations with strangers or chit-chat with acquaintances. They love to make new friends and socialize just like any other person. They may not have as wide a net of friends, but they tend to forge deeper connections with close friends.
Indeed, introverts may not contribute as actively as extroverts in conversations (for them, it’s the quality of the input over the quantity). However, that is because they prefer to spend more time observing and listening than talking, choosing their words carefully when speaking. Get an introvert started listening and talking on a topic they're interested and passionate about, and they can be chatty and upbeat.
However, once they feel drained, most people with an introverted personality type need alone time to recharge their emotions and social batteries.
Since introverts tend to be super productive alone, others may think they hate group work. However, introverts have nothing against collaboration. Quiet people are often slow before speaking in front of large groups. They may also struggle to formulate and present their ideas in crowded situations. Smaller, more intimate brainstorming sessions increase their speed and produce better results.
Introvert Myth # 4. A Quiet Person is Sneaky and Untrustworthy
Most people often draw an unfortunate but false connection between criminals and quiet people. Additionally, news of violent offenders who show warning signs like antisocial behavior, distrust of others, and misanthropy also causes people to view quiet and reserved introverts with suspicion.
However, as we've already explained, introversion and antisocial behavior are not the same thing.
Just because a quiet person is quiet does not mean they are secretly plotting to hurt you. In point of reality, most quiet people and introverts are regular people uniquely going about their lives, and that is no reason to view or talk to them with apprehension or mistrust.
Introvert Myth # 5. Quiet People Tend to Make Poor Leaders
What do Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Mahatma Gandhi have in common?
They were all introverts and great, quiet leaders.
It's easy to see why many people think introverts would not make great leaders. When you consider the archetypal leader — a magnetic, gregarious, and decisive person — you notice that all their traits seem to align with extroversion rather than introversion.
The truth is that warning signs of poor leadership are not more common in either extroverts or introverts.
However, there is more than one leadership style, and introverts have traits that make them great leaders in tough situations, too (research shows them to lead better under certain circumstances). For example, introverts are great listeners, calm under pressure, and excel at team communication. They are also more likely to develop creative solutions to challenging situations and make smarter, safer, and better decisions.
It might be a different style of leadership than we are used to. Still, introverts possess a limitless capacity for leadership. They just need to choose the right career for their personality.
Introvert Myth # 6. Introverts Tend to be More Prone to Depression
A common myth is that all introverts are depressed, perhaps because social isolation is one of the symptoms of depression. However, contrary to what you may have heard, quiet people and introverts are not automatically at higher risk of mental disease.
The risk factors for depression and mental illnesses include biology, temperament, and environment. While some introverted traits do have some correlation with depression, it has nothing to do with whether a person is talkative, loud, or quiet, in and of itself. Nor is it directly connected to their preference for calm, quiet surroundings and time to themselves.
Spending time alone does not mean you'll develop mental illness, as outgoing and fast talkers also report having anxiety attacks and depression. When we talk about being alone, it is loneliness or a change in social interaction patterns that are connected to depression, not being a quiet person or an introvert.
While being a quiet person does not make you more likely to be depressed, there is a connection between keeping things in and talking about your feelings (and this last point is true for both extroverted and introverted people).
As long as introverts and quiet people are having conversations when they notice things are not feeling right — whether it’s to family, close friends, or a professional — and are aware that they have someone there to help them through tough times, they are not at a higher risk. Additionally, what is important is to guard your mental well-being by adopting good mental health habits, maintaining your physical fitness, and, if necessary, seeking professional help.
Introvert Myth # 7. Quiet People Don't Know How to Have Fun
Silent people are not dull or boring. Instead, they prefer to have a different brand of fun than you may be used to. An extrovert's idea of a good time often involves a large crowd, loud music, and plenty of excitement. Other activities like concerts, game nights, or parties are a way for them to unwind and recharge.
Introverts are the complete opposite and will get bored doing similar things (or worse yet, uncomfortable and anxious). Calmer activities like sip and paint classes, baking, and gardening are more up their alley. Even when they are doing extroverted activities like parties and concerts, introverts can still have fun, provided they keep a watchful eye on their energy levels.
After socializing — especially around the holidays when there are lots of gatherings and parties — introverted and quiet people tend to need time alone to reenergize and regain their sense of inner calm.
Interpreting the Silence: Dispel the Myths about Introverts
Sometimes, in life, silence speaks louder than words. You just need to listen better and do a better job of interpreting the meaning behind that silence. A bit of empathy will go a long way!
If you're guilty of believing these myths about introverts and quiet people, this conversation starts by ridding yourself of those stereotypes. Instead, it's time to make a real effort to know and celebrate introverts.
Awareness of and understanding people's misbeliefs about introverts can also help you be kinder and more confident in yourself. You can play a more active role in these conversations by refuting these negative assumptions about introverts and showing the world that there's more to quiet people than is apparent at first glance.
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