"Opposites attract," or so they say. But what does that mean when it comes to relationships? Do people tend to be attracted to others with similar personalities, or are opposites more likely to find one another?
Take extroverts and introverts, for instance.
Extroverts are energized by social interaction and tend to be outgoing, while introverts prefer quiet, low-key environments and tend to be more reserved. Yet strangely enough, most relationships—both romantic couples and platonic friendships—involve an introvert and an extrovert.
But do they naturally gravitate toward each other, or does it take more work?
Keep reading to determine whether these two types of people are compatible.
Extraversion vs. Introversion: What's the Difference?
Though "extraversion" and "introversion" are common terms used to describe personalities, there is a big difference between these traits. According to the Big 5 Theory (and others, like the MBTI), people high in extroversion are outgoing and tend to be energized by social interaction. They are often considered to be the life of the party and enjoy being in large groups. On the flip side, people low in extraversion prefer quiet, low-key environments and are more reserved. They like to spend time by themselves or with a small group of close friends.
While there is no right or wrong personality type, each has its strengths and weaknesses. For example, extroverts may be better able to network and build relationships, while introverts may be more independent and better able to focus on tasks.
Ultimately, the best way to determine which personality type describes you is to take a personality assessment to see where you fall on the continuum.
How Do Extroverts and Introverts Interact in Relationships?
In any relationship, it is crucial to understand and communicate with your partner. However, this can be difficult when you have different personality types. For example, those who are outgoing and extroverted may need help understanding why someone introverted and shy would want to stay home on a Friday night.
While these differences can sometimes lead to conflict, they can complement and enrich a relationship. An extrovert can help their introverted partner come out of their shell and enjoy social activities more. At the same time, the introvert can provide a calming influence and help their partner to slow down and take things more slowly.
Finding a balance between these two personality types is key to a successful relationship. By understanding and appreciating each other's differences, extroverts and introverts can create a dynamic and fulfilling relationship.
Introverted-Extroverted Relationships: Are They Compatible?
Given their description, it's apparent extroverts and introverts are opposite poles of a continuum. This raises the question of whether the two are compatible and can get along in relationships.
Surprisingly, despite their differences, extroverts and introverts can get along fine in relationships, whether in the office, school, or romantic. This can be explained by the fact that opposites attract. These two personality types can balance each other out to create a well-rounded relationship wherein they can help each other grow in areas they lack.
For example, an introvert is often a great listener, while an extrovert is often a great talker. Therefore, an extrovert will benefit from the introvert's listening skills, while the introvert will benefit from the extrovert's communication skills.
However, in practice, it can be easier said than done. Like all unions, extrovert-introvert relationships may have potential challenges. Extroverts may find that introverts need more time alone than they do, and introverts may find that extroverts require more social interaction than they're comfortable with. As such, both partners need to be aware of each other's needs and work together to create a balance that works for them.
How to Tell If Your Introvert-Extrovert Relationship Is Compatible
While there is no surefire way to know if a relationship is destined for success, certain signs can indicate whether two people are compatible. Here are some signs of a successful relationship between introverted and extroverted personalities—or any relationship, for that matter!
You Openly Discuss Thoughts and Feelings
If you feel comfortable openly discussing your thoughts and feelings with your partner, this is a good sign that you're on the same page. Generally, introverts and extroverts may have different communication styles, so meeting in the middle means they have a connection.
You Have Shared Values and Goals
Do you both have a future vision? Do you have similar values when it comes to parenting, relationships, religion, politics, and finances? If so, then your relationship is off to a strong start.
You Don't Want to Change your Partner
Extroverts and introverts come with a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. Yet, if you find yourselves appreciating the differences between you and don't want to change each other, it's an indication that your introvert-extrovert relationship is healthy and compatible.
You Can Be Yourself Around Each Other
Another way to tell if a relationship between an introvert and an extrovert is compatible is if both partners can be their authentic selves. If you find yourself being able to show your true self without judgment, this is an excellent sign that things are going well.
You Are Quick to Resolve Issues
Often in relationships, significant problems can come up, especially for people falling on different poles of the spectrum. For instance, an extrovert might want to go out more often, and an introvert might prefer staying home. Taking a step back and finding a solution that works for both indicates a successful relationship.
Overall, compatibility between an introvert and an extrovert is brought about by respect and understanding.
However, there is no guarantee that a compatible relationship will be free of problems.
Ways to Tell You're in an Introvert-Extrovert Relationship
Since introverts and extroverts have different personality traits, the nature of their relationship can be quite different from other relationships, wherein both partners may have similar personalities. As in all relationships, the key to success is to recognize differences and work through them together.
Here are some signs that suggest you may be in an introvert-extrovert relationship.
You Respond Differently to Conflict
Extroverts and introverts tend to handle conflict differently. While extroverts may express their feelings openly and directly, introverts prefer a more indirect approach. After an argument, an extrovert may be more likely to talk it out and hash things out until a resolution is achieved. On the other hand, an introverted partner would likely prefer to take some time to process their feelings on their own before engaging in a conversation. They try to analyze what went wrong, what triggered it, and what approach would be best to take to resolve the conflict.
You Have Differing Needs for Social Interaction
One of the most apparent differences between introverts and extroverts is the amount of social interaction each needs to feel energized. Extroverts often require social activities and interactions to recharge their social battery. On the other hand, introverts need some alone time and peace to re-energize. Consequently, their social calendars can look very different.
You Rely on Partner to Save You from Drawn-out Conversations (or Vice Versa)
Typically, introverts are regarded as shy, while extroverts are known to be social butterflies. That's why introverts usually find group conversations at social gatherings quite draining, while extroverts may enjoy it. Usually, in such situations, an introverted partner may feel uncomfortable. They rely on their extroverted partner to take the steer of the conversation and save them from having to engage with the crowd.
Your Friends Lists Are Quite Different
Again, both extroverts and introverts differ when it comes to the number of friends they have. A highly extroverted partner might have many friends, are open to new acquaintances, and are often willing to add more social contacts to their friends list. In contrast, introverts are often more selective and like to maintain a smaller circle of close friends.
Your Alone Time Preferences Differ
An introvert enjoys spending time alone, while an extrovert may feel antsy and bored without social interaction. If you're an introvert in an introvert-extrovert relationship, you might find that your partner often interrupts your alone time to ask you to join them for a night out. Conversely, if you're an extrovert, you might need to schedule some "me time" into your social calendar so you can recharge your batteries.
You Have Different Ideas for a Perfect Date
Introverts and extroverts are likely to have different perceptions of a perfect date. For example, an introverted partner might prefer a night in, snuggled up with a movie and some good take-out food. Meanwhile, an extroverted partner may want to go out to a fancy restaurant and do something active. You will need to work to align your preferences to help meet both of your needs. In this example, dinner and a movie at the theater might be a good compromise.
You Have Many One-Sided Conversations
Introverts and extroverts tend to have different communication styles. While introverts prefer quiet, in-depth conversations, extroverts often thrive on lively, lighthearted communication. As a result, couples with varying personalities can easily find themselves in one-sided conversations with their partner feeling like they have to do all the talking (or listening). This can be a complicated issue if discussions are mainly focused on topics of interest to the extrovert partner, leaving the introvert feeling overwhelmed or unheard.
Ways to Make Extrovert vs. Introvert Relationship Work
As an introvert or extrovert, understanding your partner's needs is essential to make a relationship work. Here are some tips for each type of personality.
Relationship Tips For Extroverts:
- Respect your partner's need for alone time. Don't needlessly intrude on their moments alone.
- Ask your partner open-ended questions to check in on how they're doing and what they need from you.
- Take your partner's lead on how much communication and interaction is desired.
- Spend quality time together doing mutually enjoyable activities.
- Show your partner you're listening and value their opinion.
Relationship Tips For Introverts:
- Feel free to communicate your needs for alone time.
- Make sure to spend quality time with your extroverted partner and talk openly about things that matter to both of you.
- Don't be afraid to open up and share your thoughts with your partner.
- Show your extroverted partner that you're interested in what they say and take the time to listen.
- Understand that your partner may need more interaction than you, and be accommodating to that.
Overall, communication and understanding are crucial to making an extrovert-introvert relationship work.
It's important to remember that both types of personalities have benefits and drawbacks, so working together is vital to find a balance that fits—for both of you!
Keep in mind that Extraversion and Introversion are just one dimension of personality that influences our relationships. Learn how the traits of Conscientiousness, Neuroticism, Openness, and Agreeableness also play a role how you interact with others.
Learn more about Extraversion vs. Introversion:
