So, you've taken a Big 5 personality assessment, and now you're wondering, how can I use this information to help me find the perfect partner? Or, how can you make the relationship you are in last forever?
Research shows conscientiousness is one of the Big 5 traits that significantly impacts relationship compatibility and success.
Or maybe you’re on the other side of the conscientiousness spectrum and can’t imagine living with someone who is a perfectionist regarding keeping house. For them, everything has a perfect spot, but for you, you will kick your shoes off wherever you feel like it.
At first glance, it may seem like there’s no way these two personality types could ever get along. But with a better understanding of who you are and how to accept others for who they are, high and low-conscientious people can get along pretty well and quickly. Even the Odd Couple managed to figure it out!
Conscientiousness as a personality trait affects all facets of life and, importantly, how well we build relationships.
Highly conscientious persons are diligent, tidy, attentive, and like to handle their business in a certain way — from which they rarely deviate. Conversely, low conscientiousness persons take a more flexible approach to life. They are less uptight, spontaneous, and think on their feet. And since they struggle with deadlines themselves, they may not take it to heart if you cancel a date or meetup at the last minute.
Conscientiousness is about impulse control and thoughtfulness, so highly conscientious individuals often form great relationships. Please keep reading to see how conscientiousness characteristics influence how we relate with people we care about.
What is Conscientiousness in Relationships?
As one of the Big 5 personality traits, conscientiousness is the inclination to be trustworthy, organized, responsible, hard-working, and upright. Persons scoring highly on the conscientiousness scale often infuse these attributes into their relations with others. For example, a conscientious partner may send you a "good morning" text all year without skipping a day. However, they may also be controlling and want you home by 6 pm daily.
On the other end of the spectrum, less conscientious persons are carefree and understand that variety is the spice of life. They may be less demanding, more fun, and more spontaneous in relationships. An ideal date for a more conscientious person would be a well-planned night out with all the aesthetics and ambiance. In contrast, a less conscientious person may prefer to watch a movie at home with a big bowl of popcorn.
In other words, more conscientious persons prefer to follow a preconceived plan, while individuals with a low conscientiousness score tend to be spontaneous and may derive more pleasure from fickle activities.
Why does Conscientiousness Matter in Relationships?
Conscientiousness is a predictor of how people will behave in their relationships. The higher motivation levels of conscientious people build their resilience and commitment to having loving relationships. Even at school, religious functions, and workplaces, conscientious attributes will help to develop and maintain formidable bonds with other people.
Conscientious people easily engage with others and usually find it easy to be compatible with different personality traits. Highly conscientious persons (alongside other qualities like agreeableness) tend to make great partners regardless of the personality traits of their significant other.
A conscientious person is often a peacemaker or mediator. They are skilled communicators, so they are proficient at resolving conflicts and strive to keep everybody happy. A word of caution. Highly conscientious people (especially if they also score high in agreeableness) need to make sure they don't sacrifice their own needs by giving in too often to keep the peace.
How Much Conscientiousness is Required Between Partners
While opposites do attract, when it comes to conscientiousness, relationships tend to be more successful when partners score similarly on this trait. Closely conscientious people have an easier time cooperating on goal-achievement and allocating responsibility to each other. They also share similar views on compliance with prescribed rules and constituted authority.
There is generally less conflict between individuals with similar conscientiousness traits — they share comparable opinions and will typically make the same choices. They'll also understand each other better, which is valuable for resolving conflicts.
Even so, romantic partners don't need to be similar in every trait to each other to be compatible. Conscientiousness is just one facet of our personality that impacts how we communicate and relate to others.
Are Conscientious Partners Universally Compatible?
Mostly! One of the characteristics of conscientious people is that they can connect well with others.
They are emotionally intelligent, which drives their ability to connect intimately with their partners regardless of the latter's score on the conscientiousness scale. However, they would indeed find it easier to interact with persons with a similar trait of conscientiousness.
Do Low-Conscientious People Make Good Partners?
People who score low on a conscientiousness test can be great partners. Since they are more carefree and less uptight, they are usually more fun. They may help to loosen up a more conscientious partner.
However, people with extremely low conscientiousness may have difficulty getting along with others. Their impulsiveness makes them easily distracted and unable to pursue long-term goals. Building a relationship requires a lot of commitment, and it may be difficult for low-conscientious individuals to be devoted to their partners.
They are hardly dependable and may be unable to build long-term relationships with their significant other. Some research found that low conscientious individuals may struggle with fidelity to their partners.
How High Conscientiousness Scores Benefit People in Relationships
Studies show that people with conscientious partners lead healthier lives psychologically, socially, and physically. The onus to plan and organize enables conscientious individuals to provide helpful health reminders to their loved ones, such as keeping doctor’s appointments and reminders about taking medication.
Their reliability also makes them very supportive of their partners. They stick to routines and remember important dates like anniversaries and birthdays. Conscientious couples are dependable and likely to be good providers of social support. They'd also understand and prioritize the happiness and fulfillment of each other — all of which are signs of a loving and long-lasting relationship.
Unsurprisingly, conscientious couples experience higher satisfaction levels in their marital lives.
Can a Partner Be Too Conscientious?
People high in conscientiousness are sticklers for routines, and they may be frustrating to have as partners. Many people find it unbearable to deal with perfectionists. It is reasonable to try to attain perfection, but it may be excessive when it's pushed upon others.
It may also come off as controlling or bossy when conscientious people try to micromanage the lives of people around them. This type of controlling behavior is unpleasant and should be avoided. Moderation is always advised.
Conclusion
As you can see, understanding how your conscientiousness style impacts others can help improve your relationships.
But it's not the only trait that matters. For example, openness also plays a role in how you relate with friends, co-workers, and romantic partners — even if you are on opposite sides of the Big 5 conscientiousness spectrum!
Conscientiousness is just one personality trait that impacts your relationship style. Learn how the traits of Agreeableness, Openness, Extraversion, and Neuroticism also play a role your interactions with others.
Learn more about Conscientiousness vs. Lack of Direction:
