When you start dating someone new, do you shower them with presents to express affection? Does it mean the world to you when they reciprocate? This most likely means that your love language is gifts.
While giving you gifts may be the best way for your partner to express their love and appreciation for you, not everyone is wired this way. Gifts may not be important for other love languages like quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, or physical touch.
In this article, we explore what it means to speak the receiving gifts love language. We'll also give tips on communicating your gift-giving needs to avoid heartache in relationships where your partner shows their love differently.
If you're still unsure whether receiving gifts is truly your love language, we recommend taking our Language of Love test to know which of the five love languages you speak.
What Does it Mean to Have Gift Receiving as a Love Language?
Generally, gifts help to express love, thoughtfulness, kindness, and appreciation. However, according to author Gary Chapman, people with receiving gifts as a love language resonate much more deeply with this act. To these individuals, gifts are tangible symbols of love. It is a way of saying "I love you" without the words.
As one of the most misunderstood love languages, gift receiving has often been associated with superficiality and extravagance, which is far from the truth. Receiving gifts love language is more about the sentiment behind the gift than the item itself.
Unlike love languages like quality time or words of affirmation, which are centered on shared experiences in that moment, gift receiving creates lasting reminders of the giver's love.
Overall, receiving gifts as a love language is about thoughtfulness, permanence, sensory experiences, and reminders of being cherished. Gifts allow you to unwrap not just presents but your lover's heart.
Key Signs Your Love Language is Receiving Gifts
Yes, everyone loves receiving gifts, but it's a little different for those with this primary love language. If you've wondered, "How do I know if receiving gifts is my love language?" Let's look at some key tell-tale signs:
Thoughtful Tokens Illuminate Your Day
An impromptu gift, however small, can instantly lift your mood, even on the most stressful day. You value the time and effort to find small gifts that signify how much your partner knows you. For you, thoughtful presents prove they were thinking of you.
You See Gifts as Time Capsules
Gifts tend to transport you to past events and memories. For example, the handcrafted mug that reminds you of the pottery class date night or that bracelet that brings back childhood holiday memories. For you, a gift serves as a way to preserve nostalgic moments.
Planning Meaningful Gifts Brings You Joy
Few things excite you more than finding the perfect, wow-worthy gift for someone you care about. You tend to meticulously track the things they mention so you can surprise them when they least expect it. You also enjoy customizing gifts like a photo album to make them more meaningful.
A Special Day is Incomplete Without a Gift
As someone with the receiving gifts love language, special occasions don't quite feel adequately celebrated without a gift exchange. And, it's never about the monetary value of gifts but the intention behind them. Even a thoughtful card on your birthday is better than nothing, as you appreciate the physical keepsakes and gifts created by life's special moments.
You Have Sentimental Attachment to Gifts
Another profound sign that you have the gift-receiving love language is your love for gifts with sentimental value. Your jewelry box and shelves are filled with knick-knacks from past relationships, trips, and memorable events.
You Use Gifts as Love's Litmus Test
Since a gift symbolizes care, you tend to worry about the genuineness of the relationship when gift-giving drops suddenly. To you, gifts are ways to measure your lover's affection.
Self-Gifting for Joy
Your love for gifts goes beyond what you give or receive from others. Sometimes, you pick out something for yourself — a scented candle, a cozy blanket, a book, or a favorite snack. You also see shopping for yourself as therapeutic rather than a chore.
How Does the Gift Receiving Love Language Show Love?
Your gifts demonstrate your interest, commitment, and grasp of what makes your partner unique. However, the motivation and meaning behind the gifts evolve as the relationship progresses.
In a new relationship, giving gifts shows you are trying to understand your partner better.
The gifts you give in early dating tend to:
- Reflect on shared hobbies, interests, or tastes you've learned about through talking. Gifts based on these discoveries show you listen.
- Provide unexpected "just because" surprises to delight them.
- Focus on creating memorable relationship moments and new experiences together. Event tickets or activity gift cards fall into this category.
- Establish expectations around gift-giving occasions and preferred gift styles. Openly discussing gift preferences sets you both up for success.
In long-term relationships, gifts display your deep knowledge of what makes your spouse tick.
When you have years of shared history, gifts often:
- Reference inside jokes or special memories only the two of you understand. These meaningful callbacks reinforce your bond.
- Poke fun at each other's quirks and express appreciation for putting up with one another's eccentricities over the years.
- Mark major relationship milestones, accomplishments, or plans for the future.
- Demonstrate you still manage to surprise your spouse, even after so long together.
Common Relationship Issues for The Gift Receiving Love Language
Each language of love comes with challenges in a romantic relationship, and it's no different for people whose love language is gifts. You may have experienced some of these challenges already, or it may be a potential issue in the future. You must identify with and resolve them through mutual understanding with your partner.
Let's look at some relationship challenges you may face if you speak the love language of gifts (and how to get through them):
Your Partner may Not Instinctively Gift as You'd Like
In this situation, kindly explain how much a thoughtful gift means rather than just feeling disappointed. You can start a shared gift calendar reminding both of you of special occasions.
Life Circumstances like Job Changes or Kids May Mean Less Gift Giving
Don't let fewer gifts make you question your partner's love. Cherish other gestures and quality time together during busy seasons.
Your Partner Expresses Love Differently
If your partner's love language is acts of service, physical touch, or something else, gift-giving may not come naturally to them. Help them understand why small tokens and presents hold such significance to you. Since we all tend to speak all five love languages at different degrees, you can also try exploring the ones you both speak.
You and Your Partner's Love Language is Gift Giving
When you share the same love language with your partner, make sure it doesn't become an unhealthy competition. Set reasonable expectations so gifts given come from the heart, not obligation.
If your partner's primary love language is receiving gifts, you can show them love without breaking the bank.
5 Tips for Communicating Your Needs to Best Receive Love
Since gift receiving can be a misunderstood love language, you must communicate your needs effectively and leave no room for assumptions. Irrespective of how long you've known your partner, do not expect them to "just know" your needs.
So, let's look at some constructive approaches to communicating your needs for thoughtful presents in a relationship:
1. Express How Gifts Make You Feel Loved
Lovingly explain why physical symbols of love resonate so strongly with you. Share memories of favorite gifts received to help your partner relate.
2. Help Yourself by Helping Your Partner
Give specific examples of gifts that make you feel extra appreciated, such as homemade coupon books, flowers on a hard day, planning a scenic picnic date, etc. Help them understand how much you value the thought behind a gift more than the cost.
3. Take the First Step
Don't hesitate to make the first move. Sometimes, your partner only needs to see you do it to reciprocate. You can create a gift exchange plan, set reminders, or use a calendar if necessary.
4. Show What it Means
Take photos when unwrapping sentimental gifts or write down why the gift was so meaningful to treasure the memory. This provides perspective on how much gifts can mean to you.
5. It’s Not All About You
Don't just focus on your gift desires. Have conversations to understand your partner's preferred love language, too. Even if they don't speak the same language of love as you, that doesn't mean you can't give them presents to express how much you care for them. But you do need to learn how to make them feel loved using your partner's love language.
Remember, the goal is to help your partner recognize and fulfill your deep emotional needs — while you do the same for them!
Use Love Languages to Turn Gift Giving into Quality Bonding
Communication and expressing love is a two-way street. When done correctly, it will strengthen the bonds between romantic partners.
If the love language of receiving gifts resonates with you, don't feel shy about embracing your gift-loving tendencies! Gifts can provide some of life's greatest joys — physical reminders of being cherished, symbols of memories, and creative expressions of understanding.
Just be sure to communicate your gift appreciation healthily. With mutual understanding, gift-giving can become a love language you and your partner speak fluently, bringing security and romance to your relationship.
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