The holiday season is a time of the year that most of us look forward to with excitement, hoping to create special memories with our friends and loved ones.
The bright lights, festive decorations, and cheerful music surrounding us create joy and happiness.
But that isn’t always the case.
This time of the year can also bring about feelings of anxiety, stress, and even depression, both for people diagnosed with clinical depression and even for some who are not.
Depression around the holidays can be further complicated when a person also deals with the winter blues or seasonal affective disorder (two separate conditions, by the way). While these terms are often thrown around together, when we refer to "holiday depression" or "holiday sadness," we are not talking about a condition that is tied to the weather, temperatures, or lack of light.
Rather, we are referring to a situational type of depression that is connected to the holiday season itself.
For example, in the southern hemisphere, December holidays like Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve fall in the warmth of the summer.
The American Psychological Association asserts that about 38% of people feel their stress levels rise during the holiday season. Stress affects our mental health negatively, leading to increased risks of substance misuse, anxiety, and depression.
Luckily, there are different ways to cope with depression during the holiday season. It's a genuine concern but also a treatable one.
Today, we’ll explore some common questions about coping with depression during the holidays and provide tips that may help ease those feelings of sadness, stress, or loneliness.
So, if the holiday season has you feeling down in the dumps, keep reading!
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Holiday Depression: It's More Than Just the Holiday Blues
Sometimes, it can be tough to differentiate between the holiday blues and depression. While both these experiences may seem similar on the surface, not every negative feeling you have during the holidays is necessarily a sign of depression.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), "the holiday blues" are temporary or situational feelings of anxiety or depression many people experience during the winter holidays."
These feelings might include temporary fatigue, tension, frustration, loneliness, or sadness, which only last for a short period and don't interfere with one's daily functioning.
On the other hand, clinical depression goes beyond temporary feelings of sadness. It often affects one's ability to function as they normally would. It's a long-term mental health condition that affects about 6.7% of American adults, reports the American Psychiatric Association.
Some of the commonly known symptoms of clinical depression include:
- Persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness
- Loss of interest or fulfillment in activities once enjoyed
- Changes in appetite or weight
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Insomnia or excessive sleeping
- Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
- Suicidal thoughts or actions
If you've been experiencing any of these symptoms, especially for two weeks or longer, seeking help is essential.
What Are Some Common Causes of Depression During the Holidays?
Depression around the holiday season can happen for several reasons, according to experts. A Philadelphia-based psychotherapist, Akua Boateng, PhD, believes that "the holidays bring an increase in thoughts about family, relationships, and social engagement. If there are issues within these dynamics in our lives, depression can surface."
Moreover, "this time of year also raises expectations of spending more time with family and friends than usual, which can be stressful for some people," says Dr. Sarah Gundle, a New York-based clinical psychologist specializing in trauma.
Family events may also bring up old conflicts and emotions, making it challenging to navigate these relationships.
For some individuals, based on their Myers-Briggs personality type, the holidays can trigger different reactions by reminding them of past losses or traumas they have not fully addressed. This can be particularly difficult for people who have lost loved ones or are grieving the end of a significant relationship. Introverts
But besides these emotional and mental triggers, several other factors can contribute to feelings of depression during the holidays. Some of these include:
Generalized Stress
This can be compounded during the holidays with added pressures such as attending more social events and family gatherings with less time to recharge or relax. This stress can be escalated for introverts or people who have social anxiety (which can happen with extroverts, too).
Loneliness and Social Isolation
The holiday season may amplify feelings of loneliness for those who do not have close relationships or family nearby. Also, it may be challenging for some individuals to attend events where they do not feel comfortable or included.
If this is you, you may want to read: How to Beat Loneliness and Avoid Depression: 5 Ways to Relieve Loneliness
Physical And Mental Fatigue
With all the holiday preparations, from cooking to shopping and socializing, it's easy to become overwhelmed and exhausted.
Pressures of Perceived Obligations
The expectation of creating "perfect" holidays can bring about stress and anxiety related to travel, meal planning, gift-giving, and more.
Financial Stress
The increased expenses associated with the holiday season can take a toll on one's mental health, especially for those who may already be struggling financially.
High Expectations
The idealized portrayal of the holiday season in media and social media can lead to feelings of disappointment and pressure to meet unrealistic expectations.
Travel Stress
From delays to crowded airports, traffic jams, and the effects of jet lag, there are a lot of factors that can contribute to travel-related stress during the holidays.
7 Tips for Coping with Depression During the Holidays
These holiday scenarios can be challenging for anyone, regardless of whether or not you have depression. And if you do, they can amplify your symptoms.
No matter what may trigger your low mood or negative emotions during the holiday season, having an action plan to cope with these feelings can help you prepare and manage them better.
With that said, here are seven expert-recommended tips to help you sail through.
1. Don't Slack on Self-Care
Self-care involves treating yourself with kindness and compassion — like you would to a loved one. This could include getting enough rest, eating well-balanced meals, staying hydrated, or limiting alcohol consumption.
Also, try to maintain your regular routines as much as possible. Sticking to habits provides a sense of stability and control amidst the chaos that may come with the holiday season.
2. Set Boundaries
Instead of aiming for perfection or being a people-pleaser, monitor your emotions around activities, people, or events that may bring you stress. Be proactive in setting limits if necessary.
Enforcing personal boundaries could mean saying "no" to some invitations, leaving certain events early, or limiting the time spent with people who make you feel negative emotions or trigger your depressive symptoms.
"It's very important to be mindful of your own boundaries — and when something feels overwhelming, try to pay attention and act on it," says Dr. Gundle.
3. Connect with People Who Care
While the holidays may highlight feelings of loneliness, Boateng recommends trying to reach out and share your feelings with people you trust and feel safe around. This could be close friends, family members, or even a support group.
The author of Authentic Power: Give Yourself Permission to Feel, Ashley Bernardi, says she reached out and shared how she was feeling during her darkest days with depression with trusted friends. While she wasn't sure how they'd react, their support helped her feel like she had something to live for.
By opening up to your loved ones about your emotions, you allow them to offer empathy, share their own experiences, and provide support options you may not know. This can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and make you feel less alone in your struggles.
4. Volunteer
Volunteering your time and energy to help those in need can be a great way to shift your focus away from yourself and onto something more fulfilling. Not only does it offer a sense of purpose and contribution, but it can also help you connect with others.
In fact, research has shown that volunteering can have a positive impact on mental health. Some benefits may include:
- Finding meaning and purpose
- Improving self-esteem and sense of accomplishment
- Decreasing feelings of loneliness or isolation
- Developing empathy
- Feeling like you matter
- Social connectedness
However, it's crucial to find the right volunteer opportunity for you. Consider your interests and what activities you feel comfortable with when looking for opportunities to give back.
5. Create a Coping Sheet
A coping sheet lists your favorite activities, tools, and strategies to help you cope with negative emotions and triggers.
This list could include self-care activities like practicing deep breathing exercises, listening to soothing music, walking in nature, spirituality, positive self-talk, or engaging in mindfulness practices.
Having a go-to list handy can help you quickly turn to healthy outlets when faced with overwhelming emotions. It's also helpful to create your coping sheet when you're feeling well to avoid having to think too hard during distress.
6. Use the Emotional Freedom Technique
You may be familiar with tapping as a way to express yourself, but it can also be an effective tool for managing emotions. The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychological acupressure type that involves tapping on specific points within your body while focusing on negative emotions or memories, followed by words of compassion and acceptance.
According to Melissa Barsotti, a licensed clinical social worker from San Diego, using EFT can help you move away from negative holiday thoughts.
For example, she suggests using statements like, "Even though I feel sad/angry/anxious about the holidays, I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
After your statement, tap points like the side of your hand or the top of your head with your fingerprints to help regulate your emotions by balancing your body's energy system.
Recommended Reading: Tapping: How to Use this Bilateral Stimulation to Reduce Stress and Anxiety
7. Stay active
Being active is one of the best science-backed ways to boost mental health. When you're physically active, your body releases endorphins or "feel-good" chemicals that can help improve mood and reduce stress and anxiety while increasing energy levels.
Also, combining exercise and antidepressant medication can be more effective for treating depression than just using medication alone.
So, whenever you feel overwhelmed with holiday stress, find an activity you enjoy — whether it's a sport, dancing, hiking, or even yoga — and make time for it during the busy holiday season.
Bonus Tip
If you think your sadness and mood may also have something to do with the winter season and cold weather, learn more about tips to tackle the winter doldrums and treatment for seasonal affective disorder. Getting outside for fresh air and light therapy can help with all three of these conditions.
Holiday Depression is Treatable
The holidays can present unique challenges for anyone, whether you have depression or not. And sometimes, there's a tendency to wait for things to improve on their own.
But, when it comes to mental health, we need to take an active role in our recovery.
Recommended: 13 Things to Be Thankful for When Everything Goes Wrong Over the Holidays
