As professionals, we spend a lot of time with coworkers. Our teammates, bosses, and employees comprise essential elements of our social network.
For these reasons, developing healthy relationships with people we work with should be one of our priorities. Using the wisdom of five love languages at work is vital to creating a happy work environment.
In this article, we help you understand how to show your appreciation and gratitude at work with Chapman’s five languages of love. You will learn how to utilize the wisdom of workplace love language and create a supportive company culture, meaningful connections, and a more positive work environment.
Why Use Love Languages at Work?
In the 1990s, Gary Chapman put forth his observations about how people experience love. According to him, there is no one-size-fits-all modality of loving someone. Not everyone understands love and appreciation in the same way.
Instead, we usually use one or two of five distinct love languages:
If you don’t know your language of love yet, our love languages quiz will tell you!
Gary Chapman focused mainly on love languages in romantic relationships. Nonetheless, later examination showed that love languages can be successfully used at work, among other settings, and not only between romantic partners.
Empowering organizations leverage five love languages to boost confidence among employees when discussing goals, for example.
Why You Should Start Implementing Love Languages at Work
To avoid misunderstandings, we do not discuss workplace romance when speaking of love languages. This article is about different means of communicating professional recognition. It is about how to feel valued at work and encouraging people to use workplace love languages.
Understanding love languages can help better communicate respect and appreciation for someone’s efforts and talents in business environments.
Knowing someone's workplace love language (including yours) is essential, regardless of position. Yet, it bears even more weight for leadership roles. Delivering praise, for example, could take the form of a fist bump. Or, you might prefer a lunch break filled with a meaningful conversation about workplace engagement.
When you think of ways to communicate gratitude to your employees effectively, you work towards increasing job satisfaction. At the same time, speaking someone's love language at work equals expressing care in a way they will understand it. This leads to lower job-related stress and reduced risk of burnout.
According to a reputable survey, the leading cause of burnout is a lack of recognition. Additionally, employees not feeling appreciated is a key indicator of a toxic workplace.
So, how does the notion of love languages translate to the work environment? You can think of it as five languages of appreciation. They are manifested in two ways.
- First, it sheds light on what you need from a job to feel good about it.
- And the second is how you show appreciation to your coworkers or employees.
5 Languages of Appreciation: What You Seek in a Work Position to Feel Valued
We all need to feel appreciated and valued at work. But what speaks gratefulness to you? Using the theory of love languages at work explains how we differ in experiencing workplace recognition.
Workplace love language preferences mean you seek different forms of approval from your collective. Here is how every language of love is manifested in your professional relationships at work.
Saying It Out Loud: Words of Affirmation at Work
If your preferred workplace love language at work is Words of Affirmation, you need verbal feedback and praise for what you did well.
You notice others value you when you hear it said out loud (or written in an e-mail). Therefore, you thrive in careers with one-on-one leadership. Your ideal work environment is a strong mentorship program in which your supervisor will set up a one-on-one meeting.
Tip: Even if you are not working in a culture based on Words of Affirmation, you can directly seek feedback from your supervisors, asking them to highlight your strengths to leverage them more often.
Quality Over Quantity: Quality Time at Work
Quality Time is another way you might primarily experience care in different relationships. If, among all love languages, this is your primary, you will require a lot of gatherings and bonding experiences to feel cherished at work as well.
Ideal work settings for you include firms that promote team-building events, office celebrations, sports days, and similar opportunities to spend quality time with your team and receive their undivided attention. You value quality personal relationships with people you work with.
Tip: You can initiate quality time with your team members by proposing socializing after work and suggesting celebrations of workplace-related events (such as anniversaries or celebrations of successful project completion).
Tangible Recognition: Receiving Gifts at Work
Love languages come in material and immaterial modalities. For those who feel appreciation is expressed through gift-giving, companies that offer bonuses, awards, tangible gifts, and other material benefits are the perfect environment.
This love language at work means you appreciate something tangible to remind you of meaningful achievements through your efforts.
Tip: If you feel you deserve a bonus or a pay increase, assertively take steps to present your case to the supervisor.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words: Acts of Service at Work
People whose primary love language is Act of Service value jobs with even workload and a focus on teamwork.
You will flourish in environments where a coworker asks if they can take something off your hands. A manager who regularly checks if you are on top of things and flexibly reassigns responsibilities if needed makes you feel respected and cherished.
Tip: You can increase the chances of others helping you out by assisting them when you have capacity. Such actions will gradually build a culture of lending a hand whenever possible.
Saying It Without Words: Physical Touch at Work
If you crave physical touch to feel treasured, you will also want to celebrate professional wins with hugs, fist-bumps, and pats on the back.
Therefore, your ideal working environment is one where people share an office and are in close physical contact. A culture with strong team orientation in which members congratulate each other with handshakes is your cup of tea.
Tip: Always make sure your coworkers are all right with physical touch by asking directly. If not, you can still replace physical touch in your office with eye contact, thumbs-ups, and waving.
How to Show Appreciation in the Workplace Using Love Languages
Using love languages at work promotes a more positive working environment. It can also help reduce turnover, increase team motivation, and enhance employee engagement. Research confirmed that expressing gratitude (especially if done personally) leads to better employee morale.
Such findings suggest different ways to communicate appreciation to your team members are worth considering. While someone's love language could require you to spend time crafting detailed verbal praise, other team members could appreciate the monetary value put on their workplace efforts.
We give you practical tips on employing each love language in the workplace to say: "I value you!" in a way that feels natural.
Showing Appreciation to Employees with Words of Affirmation Love Language
Sharing supportive words with your employees is a simple but straightforward way to show recognition of their efforts. Here are a few examples of how you could leverage your preferred love language at work:
- Be specific when giving verbal praise to an employee. “You did very well presenting the newest data graphically” will work better than a simple: “Good job!”
- Recognize their talents: “You are very good at delivering a presentation.”
- Thank them for the work done: "I appreciate you taking the initiative with that customer and sorting out the complaint."
Professions that might promote Words of Affirmation at work: healthcare, communications, leadership position in any field, human resources.
Making Employees Feel Appreciated with Quality Time Love Language
Quality Time as a love language at work is best utilized in positions that allow close, in-depth contact with clients and coworkers. Any kind of small team is likely to suit your natural tendency to express appreciation through quality interactions and one-on-one meetings.
Meaningful moments boost morale in team meetings and promote team members' personal development.
We give you tips on how to implement this love language at work:
- Give your employees full attention.
- Organize brainstorming sessions.
- Arrange team-building events.
- Celebrate successes in off-site settings in a casual atmosphere.
Professions that might promote Quality Time at work: psychologist, advisor of any sort, nature guide, yoga or meditation instructor.
Expressing Gratitude with Receiving Gifts Language of Appreciation
Some of us are naturally geared towards tangible symbols of appreciation, speaking the love language of Receiving Gifts. If this is you, you will enjoy showing your employees you care with small tokens of attention.
Here are a few ideas on utilizing this love language at work:
- If you are in a position to do so, introduce bonuses and perks like gym memberships for your team.
- Express why you are giving the present. For example, say something like: “You helped the team advance with your engagement on this project, so I wanted you to have this.”
- Good ideas for appropriate gifts are business and profession-oriented books, gift cards, plants or decorations for the employee’s desk, or subscriptions for career-related magazines or courses.
- Make sure your gifts are not interpreted as favoritism.
Professions that might promote Receiving Gifts at work: leadership positions, accountants, brokers, tax advisors, and charity organizations.
Showing Appreciation at Work with Acts of Service Love Language
Acts of Service as a love language at work will likely gear you towards professions where you can make a change. Moreover, you will enjoy positions where you can roll up your sleeves and help the team. You truly enjoy the “actions speak louder than words” kind of work.
Apart from working in helping professions, you can employ this love language regardless of where you work. For example:
- Bring coffee and snacks for the team if they need to stay after hours.
- When you have a deadline to meet, relieve your employees of low-level tasks so that they can focus on critical ones.
- Engage technical support if you notice team members struggling.
Professions that might promote Acts of Service at work: social work, legal advisors, teachers, humanitarian work.
Making the Team Feel Appreciated with Language of Physical Touch
For ethical reasons, physical touch is one of the workplace love languages that requires particular attention to people’s boundaries.
Here are some practical tips on how to employ Physical Touch as a love language at work if you prefer it among the 5 languages of appreciation:
- Always ask if your employees are comfortable with physical contact. Say something like: “Great job, can I shake your hand?”
- The safest way to avoid overstepping the line of appropriateness is to substitute physical touch with eye contact and smiles when giving feedback.
- You can also verbally share the meaning behind physical touch by saying something like: “This deserves a high-five!” and “Let’s pat ourselves on the back, everyone!”
Professions that might promote Physical Touch at work: nurse, massage or physical therapist, sports coach, fitness trainer, early childhood educator.
Picking the Perfect Line of Work
Given how much time we spend around people we work with or for, being in an appreciative organizational culture is a significant element of our well-being. Our career is a vital element of our world. Working towards healthy and supportive work relationships is worth the effort.
Still, to be appreciated and achieve complete satisfaction with our jobs, we must also pick the perfect line of work. Love languages at work are a good start, but they are not to be taken as the only factor to base our career choice on.
The secret recipe is matching your job choice with your personality. How to achieve this?
Leverage BrainManager’s Official Career Aptitude Test to find the ideal fit. This comprehensive tool was developed by combining one of the leading personality tests (Big-5) and an authoritative career test (based on John Holland’s Career Interest Theory).
Arming yourself with such an across-the-board self-understanding of love languages and personality, you are making the most critical step toward a rewarding career and a fulfilling life.
