It's the holiday season, and you know what that means:
Uncles, aunties, and cousins are flying in to be closer to family; you've got dinner with the in-laws. Let's not forget the massive family get-together your parents insist on throwing every year.
And unless you're someone who works from home, there's all the hubbub around the break room, after-hours get-togethers, and the dreaded (at least for introverts) annual holiday party. Oh, my!
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As an introvert, it's exhausting just thinking about the many social engagements that come with the holiday season.
It's not that you don't love your family and want to spend time with them. It's just that you're an introvert, and social interaction is draining for you. Being forced to spend the next couple of weeks surrounded by people (even if they're family) is bound to make you curt and irritable—not exactly the definition of holiday spirit.
How do you balance the two?
How can you spend time with your friends and family and show them that you love and care for them this holiday season without completely running down your social battery and becoming a Grinch? How do you let your co-workers know you appreciate them even when you feel the need to turn down the umpteenth invitation for cookies and eggnog?
Even if you don't have social anxiety, it's enough to make the (introverted) mind boggle. It's no wonder January 2 has been set aside just for us!
Here are seven ways to scale through the holiday season, the introvert way.
7 Tips for Surviving the Holiday Season as an Introvert
When your social engagements are a little too much, or you feel yourself running low on energy, apply the following tips to help you survive the holiday season.
1. Keep Your Hands Busy
One good way to get some respite from people during the holidays is to busy yourself with something.
Is your host missing the pumpkins they need for their world-famous pumpkin pie? Offer to run to the store and get it. Is the family dog way too excited and energetic? Take it for a walk. Is your aunt exhausted from wrangling her kids all day? Offer to take them out for ice cream.
You may not like doing chores, but having something demanding your time and attention is a great excuse to get a break from people. Moreover, nobody needs to know that you're doing these chores to escape people. As far as they are concerned, you are just being helpful--something that's bound to improve your estimation in their eyes.
2. Steer the Conversation
During the holidays, you gather with family members who haven't seen each other in a long time, have opposing political views, or don't get along very well. Additionally, they all have different personality traits that influence how they act at holiday gatherings.
With so much diversity crammed together, they may feel the urge to use small talk to avoid awkwardness and not ruin the holiday spirit. Unfortunately for introverts, that's precisely the kind of talk we can't abide.
So, if you want to avoid spending the next hour talking about the weather, sports, or movies, get ahead of it. Take the reins in your conversations and steer them in a direction that matters to you. You can avoid sensitive topics like politics and religion while still finding something interesting.
One way to do this is by bringing a conversation piece. It can be anything, like an exotic dish, an interesting gift, or a fancy gadget. This might seem contrary to most introverts, but you might try wearing something unique that's sure to be a conversation starter — festive earrings or "Ugly Sweaters" will do the trick. People will naturally be curious and ask you about it. From there, you can lead the conversation in a direction you can tolerate.
You can also implement the golden rule of communication to keep the conversation flowing smoothly.
3. Start a One-on-One Conversation
An excellent way to socialize with your family this holiday season without immediately running down your social battery is by opting for one-on-one conversations instead of group discussions.
Whenever you get a chance, isolate an individual and get them talking. Prepare some interesting questions beforehand, like whether they took a vacation that year or what book they recently enjoyed. You'll be able to manage your social interactions without seeming antisocial, and you'll build a better relationship with them than you would in a group.
4. Take Breaks
There's nothing wrong with needing a breather every now and then. Find a quiet spot to escape the crowd and calm your mind. A balcony or veranda is a great option. You could also go for a walk or just hang out in the garden.
A good trick for avoiding attention is bringing a book and reading in a relatively quiet but open area. You'll still be among people, so it won't seem like you're avoiding human contact, and most people will leave you alone—at least for a little while.
5. Leave Early
You don't have to stay four hours at a family dinner, three of which you'll spend feeling absolutely awful. A much better option for you and everyone else is to show up, reconnect with your family, and leave in an hour once you feel your energy flagging.
Of course, leaving any family function early can be an incredibly awkward affair. One way to make it easier is to inform your host ahead of time that you will only be able to stay for a little while. That way, they're not offended when you announce that it's time for you to leave.
You can also come up with an excuse that justifies your leaving early, like having to feed your cat or relieve the babysitter.
6. Bring an Extrovert Shield
The holidays are one of those few occasions where you'll be grateful for your extroverted friends. If you can manage it, bring an extroverted friend to the holiday parties and stick with them throughout.
Extroverts make very good attention deflectors. If you stick close to them, you can make a token appearance while fobbing off most of the conversation and attention to them. And the best part is, your extroverted friend will totally love it!
It's a win for everybody. You get to enjoy your holidays without feeling suffocated, your extroverted friend has a great time, and you appease your family.
7. Say No to (Some) Social Events
If you don't want to attend a social event, say "no." All we've discussed so far are quick fixes that can lessen the burden you feel during the holidays. Still, for introverts, nothing compares to actual alone time.
You probably can't get away with saying "no" to every event, but you can pick and choose which ones you will attend. There's nothing wrong with turning down an invite. Provided you communicate your reasons well enough, most people will understand.
Remember, the holidays are a marathon, and you've got to pace yourself until your calendar is yours to command again.
Get Into the Holiday Spirit the Introvert Way
Despite what you may have heard, introverts don't have to be miserable or depressed during the holiday season. You can get into the holiday spirit, enjoy your time with your family and friends, and still protect your introverted sensibilities.
When you feel exhaustion setting in, apply the tips above to get an immediate energy boost. And as much as it can be overwhelming to have so many people wanting your attention, be grateful for them.
If you're unsure whether you're an introvert, take our personality test now to find out!
