The INFJ personality type is the rarest of all the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, making up only 1.5% of the U.S. population. These enigmatic individuals are often described as introverted idealists with a unique combination of traits.
They are deeply intuitive, empathetic, and sensitive individuals who strive for meaningful connections throughout their lives, especially in romantic relationships.
Being in a relationship with an INFJ can be a delicate dance between emotional depth, intellectual stimulation, and independence. They crave soulful connections built on trust, mutual respect, and shared values. While INFJs are often seen as quiet observers, they yearn for a partner who can truly see and appreciate their inner world. Above all, they seek authenticity and someone who can match their intensity of feeling.
However, due to their complex nature and high standards, some personalities click with the INFJ immediately, while others may require a little more time and work to achieve a harmonious relationship.
For example, INFJs have the best match with fellow intuitive types such as ENFPs, INTPs, and ENFJs while their worst matches are ESTPs or ESFPs.
INFJ Relationship Compatibility With Other Types
We've created an INFJ compatibility chart based on the Myers-Briggs typology to give you a quick overview of the best and average matches for INFJ and those pairings that may require extra effort and understanding.
INFJ Compatibility Chart
Which personality types make the best match for an INFJ? What personality types should INFJs be cautious about in relationships? Which criteria are used to determine compatibility?
While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, we'll look at factors that may influence INFJ compatibility with other personality types.
INFJ Soulmates: Best INFJ Matches
Best matches typically involve complementary traits, where partners balance each other’s energy sources, information processing, decision-making, and lifestyle.
Per the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), INFJs will be compatible with extroverted and intuitive personalities, particularly those with dominant Feeling functions. Some potential soulmates include:
1. INFJ and ENFJ Compatibility
The ideal partner for an INFJ would be someone who matches them in every way, especially when it comes to their introverted intuition and extraverted feelings. While an ENFJ shares the same cognitive functions as an INFJ, they use these functions in a different order: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti.
This complementary balance can create a strong connection, understanding, and support between these two types.
2. INFJ and ENFP Compatibility
ENFPs are creative individuals with the same dominant function as INFJs: Introverted Intuition. However, their order of cognitive functions is Ne-Fi-Te-Si, which means they may approach things more lightheartedly and spontaneously than INFJs.
This combination can help INFJs let go of their overthinking and perfectionism tendencies while still feeling understood and supported by their partner. Plus, both types highly value authenticity and emotional depth in relationships, making them an excellent match.
3. INFJ and INTP Compatibility
While often portrayed as cold or distant because of their dominant Thinking function, INTPs can make great partners for INFJs. INTPs can provide a logical perspective and help INFJs see things from different angles while still appreciating the latter's depth and emotional intelligence.
However, it is essential to note that both types may struggle with expressing emotions, which could cause misunderstandings if not addressed healthily.
Good Compatibility, But Not Ideal: INFJs Average Matches
Average matches typically involve pairs that balance similarities and differences, ensuring neither overwhelming conflict nor perfect harmony. These pairs often share two or three common traits, such as introversion or intuition, which breed mutual understanding while differing in others, like Thinking vs. Feeling, to provide complementary perspectives.
This balance allows for constructive interaction and growth, though not without occasional misunderstandings. The pairing is deemed "average" because it offers a blend of ease and challenge, promoting a stable yet dynamic relationship.
Some common average pairings for INFJs include:
4. INFJ and INTJ Compatibility
Despite sharing intuitive and judging traits, INTJ and INFJ differences in thinking and feeling can create challenges. INTJs prioritize logic and objective decision-making, often focusing on efficiency and strategic thinking.
In contrast, INFJs prioritize empathy and harmony, often valuing personal connections and emotional depth. This disparity can lead to misunderstandings and conflicting priorities in a relationship.
However, their shared introversion and intuitive nature provide a common ground, making them capable of understanding and appreciating each other's perspectives to some extent, leading to an average rather than an ideal match.
5. INFJ and INFJ Compatibility
Aren't two INFJs bound to have an ideal connection? In theory, yes. But INFJ-INFJ compatibility is considered average rather than the best match due to their identical cognitive functions.
While this similarity can create a deep understanding and shared worldview, it can also lead to challenges. Both partners may struggle with the same blind spots, particularly in their inferior Se function, potentially resulting in practical difficulties.
Their dominant Ni might also cause both to become overly focused on future possibilities, neglecting present realities. In addition, their shared Fe could lead to conflict avoidance, with neither partner willing to address issues directly.
The lack of cognitive diversity might also leave them caught up in their "bubble." As two introverts, the pair may even talk themselves out of socializing. Observing how another INFJ operates, however, may highlight traits that both individuals can collaboratively improve upon.
6. INFJ and ISFP Compatibility
These two pairs are known to be "people” people who love to know what makes the other person think. Though they may be slow to open up about their feelings to one another, they are both caring personalities that focus on the others' needs. Combined with their shared introversion, these qualities lay a solid foundation for a strong relationship.
However, as a P-type, ISFP is more spontaneous than INFJs. ISFPs often seek novel experiences that satisfy their Se function and may not seek the deep emotional connection that INFJs crave. Again, ISFPs tend to focus more on the tangible aspects of life than INFJs.
While INFJs often ponder the "why" behind things, ISFPs concentrate on the "what" and prefer to take action sooner rather than later. Put simply, these two pairings may share values, but their different approaches may confuse the other.
7. INFJ and ENTP Compatibility
ENTPs are great at trying to understand many different people, a trait that INFJs may enjoy. Plus, ENTPs and INFJs are curious individuals seeking to learn about each other's backstories, opinions, habits, and so on.
However, ENTPs tend to be more assertive, and their Ti function may highlight any holes in INFJs' arguments or reasoning. This can lead to conflict if both partners cannot easily appreciate the other's perspective. Also, ENTPs' tendency towards debate and devil's advocate positions can be taxing for INFJs, who may prefer less confrontational interactions.
To some extent, this pairing might also end up like two ships passing in the night as they cope with daily tasks rather than discussing deeper topics. Hence, while they may enjoy each other's company, their compatibility is still average based on their different approaches.
8. INFJ and INFP Compatibility
As a fellow introvert, the INFP will automatically understand the INFJ's need for alone time. The two pairings are also known for their idealism, thoughtfulness, and supportiveness — traits that can foster a deep and meaningful connection.
Regardless, INFPs are Perceivers who may find INFJs' judging tendencies to be controlling, while the latter may view the former as too passive or indecisive.
Both types also share the same cognitive functions: Fi-Ne-Si-Te. As such, they may have similar blind spots in their inferior Te function and struggle with practical matters.
Their dominant Ni can also lead to overthinking and feeling overwhelmed by possibilities, making it challenging for them to take action. Therefore, while they might understand each other, these similarities could also result in average rather than ideal compatibility.
9. INFJ and ISFJ Compatibility
ISFJs and INFJs share Introverted Feelings, making them naturally empathetic and in tune with their own emotions. Both types also prioritize harmony and relationships, valuing loyalty and commitment in a partnership.
However, ISFJs focus more on tradition and routine than INFJs. This may create tensions when the latter wants to try new things or explore different perspectives. ISFJs are also more detail-oriented and practical than INFJs, who tend to take a big-picture approach.
INFJ Challenging Opposites: Worst Matches
Opposites may attract, but when it comes to personality types, certain combinations are considered worst matches due to fundamental differences in communication styles, values, and decision-making processes. For example, thinking types (T) might clash with feeling types (F) over emotional sensitivity versus logical analysis.
Similarly, judging types (J) might find perceiving types (P) too spontaneous and disorganized, causing frustration. Differences in extroversion (E) and introversion (I) can lead to mismatched social needs and energy levels.
These contrasting traits may result in a lack of understanding, misinterpretation, and resentment. Some potential challenging opposites for an INFJ include:
10. INFJ and ESTP Compatibility
Opposites can attract, but an ESTP can be too different from an INFJ. Where ESTPs prefer to live in the moment, crave excitement and stimulation, and thrive on competition, INFJs would instead opt for harmony, reflection, and deep connections.
ESTPs may also focus more on the physical world than the INFJs' abstract world of ideas and possibilities. As such, INFJ’s emotions can be confusing for ESTPs, as can ESTPs’ spontaneity and impulsiveness for INFJs.
11. INFJ and ESFP Compatibility
ESFP and INFJ may not see eye to eye, given the ESFP's desire to live in the moment and the INFJ's preference for seeing things in the big picture. ESFPs can get bored quickly with an INFJ overanalyzing, and INFJs can become frustrated with an ESFP's impulsiveness or shallow interests.
With ESFPs being social butterflies who thrive in the spotlight, INFJs are introverted and may struggle to keep up with their partner's energy levels and need for attention. However, since ESFPs are such open books, INFJs can stay fascinated since they love to read people.
Another potential hurdle for this pairing is that despite being F type, one processes emotion passionately outward and quietly inwardly. Thus, certain wording and nonverbal reactions can unintentionally hurt the other.
INFJ One-sided Matches
The pairing may not be the ideal partner for some personality types, but they could still make a one-sided match work. These are often complementary types with shared cognitive functions; however, their dominance order might clash or cause misunderstandings.
Some potential one-sided matches for an INFJ include:
12. INFJ and ESTJ Compatibility
ESTJs are practical and logical decision-makers who value efficiency above all else. Because an INFJ focuses more on emotional depth and ESTJ prioritizes logical thinking, they may clash in understanding how the other drew their conclusions.
The ESTJ might also see the INFJ as indecisive or overly sensitive for taking more time to process conflict, while the INFJ could view the ESTJ as cold or rigid.
Despite the disconnect on communication issues, INFJ and ESTJ’s different perspectives can help round out their views of an issue. If INFJs can tangibly express their thoughts, and ESTJs can be more understanding of INFJ's need for time to process their emotions, this pairing can thrive.
13. INFJ and ISTP Compatibility
The introverted nature of this pair can make them understand each other's social needs. However, they differ in priorities and how they process information, making it difficult to overcome conflicts.
Furthermore, INFJ's preference for structure can clash with ISTPs' bluntness and stoicism. ISTPs may also struggle to understand the INFJ's depth and constant need for self-reflection. However, if both partners are open-minded and willing to learn from each other, they can bridge these differences and create a unique bond.
14. INFJ and ENTJ Compatibility
This pairing can be a case of "opposites attract" with the ENTJ's dominant Thinking function and INFJ's dominant Feeling function. However, differences in their decision-making and communication styles may lead to misunderstandings and clashes.
ENTJs tend to be direct and assertive, while INFJs are more diplomatic and tactful. This contrast in approach can cause tension for both types, but it is not necessarily a deal breaker as long as both try to find a balance between logic and emotion. After all, both types value structure and planning, making them great partners when it comes to achieving goals together.
15. INFJ and ISTJ Compatibility
INFJs and ISTJs are both more unfriendly personalities. They share the same cognitive functions, but their dominant and inferior functions are reversed. This means that while they can understand each other's perspective, they may struggle to click on certain issues.
ISTJs prefer a more structured and practical approach to life, whereas INFJs value creativity and abstract thinking. ISTJs may also find INFJs' emotions overwhelming or irrational at times.
Since INFJs hate being misunderstood, this can be a major issue. Also, what excites one can bore the other. The only alternative to make it work is to use their different approaches to draw more balanced conclusions than they would with more similar personalities.
16. INFJ and ESFJ Compatibility
ESFJ and INFJ are some of the most caring personalities of the MBTI. Both value harmony and are motivated by making a difference in the world. These two will also appreciate and respect each other's social boundaries.
While this may seem like a match made in heaven, their differences can make them not always be on the same wavelength. For instance, ESFJs tend to be more practical here and now, while INFJs prefer to contemplate before taking action. This difference in their focus can lead to a conflict.
What Does INFJ Look For in a Relationship?
INFJs have specific needs and preferences regarding what they expect in any kind of relationship, whether romantic, friendship, or work. Understanding these can help potential partners create a more fulfilling connection with an INFJ. Below are some of the critical aspects INFJs look for in a relationship:
Relationship Needs
- Deep and meaningful relationships: INFJs crave deep, meaningful emotional bonds. They seek partners with whom they can engage in heartfelt conversations and share their innermost thoughts and feelings.
- Authenticity: Genuine interactions are paramount for INFJs. They value honesty and transparency in their relationships and expect the same from their partners.
- Independence: Despite their deep commitment, INFJs value their personal space and time for self-reflection. They need a partner who understands and respects this need for solitude.
- Good communication: The biggest turn-off for INFJs is being misunderstood. Although they may sometimes come across as cold, they are known as Counselors because they deeply empathize with those around them and are natural problem-solvers. They don't like to be left wondering, as they can take a lack of communication personally. And though they may shy away from sharing their feelings, if given the space and gentleness they require, they can open up and communicate openly.
- Intellectual stimulation: INFJs are deep thinkers and crave mental stimulation. If you can't keep up with their rich inner world, they may feel disconnected or bored in the relationship.
INFJ Relationship Turn-offs
- Superficiality: INFJs are more interested in meaningful conversations than small talk. They can quickly lose interest in relationships that lack depth and are based on superficial interactions.
- Dishonesty and inauthenticity: Honesty is a hallmark of the INFJ personality type. Any form of deceit or insincerity can irreparably damage an INFJ's trust and interest in a relationship.
- Conflict and aggression: Passive-aggressive behavior is a no-go for INFJs. They are sensitive to tension, so any confrontational situations or frequent arguments can be highly distressing for them.
- Pressure to conform: INFJs value their uniqueness and are turned off by partners who try to change them or expect them to fit into conventional molds.
- Manipulation and Control: INFJs are intuitive and can sense manipulation. Any form of emotional manipulation or control can be a significant turn-off and lead to mistrust. A partner who tries to control their actions, thoughts, or feelings can also make INFJs feel trapped and suffocated.
- Unpredictability: While INFJs appreciate spontaneity, they also value consistency in a relationship. Inconsistent behavior or unpredictability can create a sense of instability and insecurity. Sending mixed signals or being unclear about intentions can confuse and frustrate INFJs, who prefer direct and honest communication.
How Does INFJ Behave in a Relationship?
Clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett says that INFJs tend to take their relationship very seriously. "They really want to find the 'right one' that will allow both partners to grow and develop together."
But while they may have a clear idea of what they want in a partner, INFJs are somewhat perfectionists. They want their relationship to be a match made in heaven.
And when reality doesn't match their ideal, they can become disillusioned and disappointed. This can also lead to challenges with confrontation and holding unrealistic expectations for their partners (or even themselves).
As introverts, "their introverted nature may keep them from making the first move looking for signs even if there are other indicators that someone may be a good match," Hallet adds. That's why INFJs may need more time and patience to open up and let someone into their inner world.
Overall, INFJs are highly sensitive to their partners' needs, attentive listeners, and excellent communicators. They also tend to take the role of peacemaker very seriously, so they can sometimes have a hard time accepting criticism and dealing with conflicts. Still, INFJs have a unique ability to see the best in people and can often understand their partner's perspective even when they disagree.
INFJ and Dating: How Does INFJ Handle Breakups?
INFJs approach breakups with a depth of emotion and introspection, often reflecting on the relationship's dynamics and their role in it. Their empathetic nature makes them particularly sensitive to the feelings of both themselves and their partner.
This can sometimes lead to an insecure attachment, as INFJs may feel a sense of loss that triggers their fears of abandonment and inadequacy. They are likely to revisit memories and experiences from the relationship, attempting to find closure or understanding about what went wrong.
While INFJs value self-reflection, they can also be prone to excessive rumination, which may hinder their healing process. Ultimately, though, time, self-care, and possibly seeking support from trusted friends will help them navigate the emotional complexities of a breakup.
Common Strengths and Weakness of INFJ in Relationships
Strengths:
- Great listeners and empathetic partners
- Strong intuition to understand their partner's needs and emotions
- Supportive
- Able to face reality and work through challenges
- Excellent communicators
- Committed
- Dedicated
Weaknesses:
- High expectations for themselves and their partners
- Reserved
- Can be overly sensitive to criticism or conflict, leading to avoidance or passive-aggressive behavior
- May have difficulty expressing their true feelings or setting boundaries
- Hard to change
- Perfectionist tendencies
Natural Chemistry with INFJs
INFJs love deeply, seeking soulful connections built on trust and authenticity. While some personality types naturally click, real compatibility comes down to understanding, communication, and mutual effort.
If you’re an INFJ, don’t wait for the “perfect” match — focus on building a relationship where you feel seen and valued. And if you’re with an INFJ, cherish their depth and give them the space to be their true selves.
At the end of the day, love isn’t about personality types — it’s about connection, effort, and the magic of truly understanding each other.
