How to Be Happy in Life | Harvard Happiness Study On Importance of Social Connections on Physical and Mental Health

"What makes you happy? This question will have people fumbling to give the most correct answer. Some will say money, while others will say their careers or relationships. But what really makes most adults happy?

Contrary to what many people think, what makes us happy is not actually money, career, exercise, or a healthy diet. What makes us happy is having positive relationships. This is according to the Harvard happiness study that took place many years ago.

The Harvard Happiness Study, formally known as the Harvard Study of Adult Development, is one of history's longest-running and most comprehensive longitudinal studies focused on what makes people live happier and healthier lives. It began in 1938 and has followed the lives of over 700 men from various backgrounds, and later their families, over several decades.

Let's learn more about this study and what it teaches about achieving life satisfaction and longevity.

Related: How Your Personality Affects Your Health

About the Harvard Happiness Study

Ever notice how difficult it is to fall asleep when you've argued with your spouse or how great you feel after a good conversation with a friend? Relationships affect us mentally and physically, as the Harvard Happiness study revealed.

For over 80 years, researchers tracked the lives of several people, collecting data on their mental and physical health, relationships, careers, etc, to see what leads to longevity and life satisfaction. The number one insight from the study is that healthy and meaningful relationships are crucial for our mental and physical health as we age. 

Having loving and supportive relationships is a cushion against life's ups and downs and supports overall health. Those ties help delay physical and mental decline and are more significant predictors of long and joyful lives than genetics, social class, or IQ. 

According to Dr. Waldinger, director of the study, "good relationships keep us healthier and happier." Individuals with strong social connections showed reduced rates of cognitive decline, arthritis, diabetes, and other chronic conditions.

How to Be a Happy Adult

We all crave happiness, but who is willing to do the work? As children, your parents or guardians are responsible for your happiness. They fill your life with play dates and other activities to ensure an exciting and memorable childhood. Unfortunately, when you become an adult, you must be responsible for your own happiness and inner peace.

Many adults are miserable because they think someone else is responsible for their happiness, just like it was when they were kids. You will hear them complain, "My partner doesn't make me happy. Or "I don't feel happy with my career." Instead of blaming others for your unhappiness, it is essential to note that as an adult, it is your duty to make yourself happy. And it is not hard.

Based on the findings of the Harvard Happiness Study, which emphasizes the importance of strong social ties and meaningful relationships for happiness and longevity, here are several actionable steps you can take to foster a happier, healthier adult life:

1. Spend Time with Friends and Family

As Daniel Gilbert, the Harvard College Professor of Psychology, says, 

"We are happy when we have family, we are happy when we have friends, and almost all the other things we think make us happy are actually just ways of getting more family and friends." 

Social time is a valuable ingredient to happiness, even for introverts. Several studies show that spending time with friends and family makes a huge difference in how happy we feel.

2. Cultivate New Connections

As children, we are forced to be friends with those around us, whether our parents, siblings, or other neighbors' kids. But as we grow older, our options for making new connections expand, whether you're in college, at work, or in a church setting.

So seize every opportunity you get to make new friends or strengthen relationships with acquaintances. Join social groups, clubs, or activities to meet like-minded people. Having a broad support system can protect against loneliness.

Volunteering, participating in local events, or joining a cause can also help you build new connections, give a sense of purpose, and contribute to your happiness.

3. Make Time for Meaningful Conversations

Today's world has everyone busy with work, family, or, you know, just scrolling through endless social media pages. We no longer have the time for deep, meaningful conversations and opt for casual chats that don't last a minute.

While casual chats are good, spending time in more meaningful conversations helps you connect more deeply. Talk about personal topics, thoughts, feelings, and challenges with those close to you.

Make sure you practice active listening and show that you are fully engaged in the conversation by being present and avoiding distractions.

4. Sleep More

Several studies have revealed that sleep deprivation can negatively affect your psychological well-being. You may have experienced this firsthand. After a night of tossing and turning, you may feel short-tempered, more irritable, and vulnerable to stress. Chronic insomnia may increase your risk of developing mood disorders such as anxiety and depression.

An adult should have enough sleep (at least 7 hours) for adequate brain function and emotional well-being. Getting more sleep also helps reduce the risk of developing certain chronic illnesses,s such as diabetes and heart disease.

If you're consistently having problems sleeping, consider checking in with a doctor for assistance.

5. Practice Gratitude

Research in positive psychology has proven that gratitude is strongly associated with greater happiness. Being grateful makes people relish good experiences, feel more positive emotions, build strong relationships, deal with adversity, and improve health.

You can show gratitude in multiple ways. You can start by retrieving positive memories of your past and being thankful for past achievements, appreciating what you already have, or taking the time to appreciate the people who have been good to you. Keeping a gratitude journal is an excellent way to keep track of everything you are grateful for, but you can also thank someone mentally, pray, or count your blessings each day.

6. Go Outside

Our current lifestyle forces us to spend most of our time indoors at a desk and not enjoy nature. However, as research reveals, exposure to green space has been associated with enhanced mental health, cognitive development, lower psychological distress, and overall health. Being in a natural environment has also been linked with decreased rumination and anxiety.

Whether it's your backyard, neighborhood park, or a rooftop garden, enjoy some fresh air for at least 30 minutes a day.

7. Have a Self-Care Ritual

Today's busy world takes a lot of your time, sometimes leaving you with no time to take care of yourself. But if you're looking for true happiness, it's important to create time and take care of yourself before you even take care of others. Self care entails anything from exercising to getting a massage or soaking yourself in warm water before bed.

8. Ditch the Phone

While endlessly scrolling through Instagram can be a way to beat boredom and loneliness temporarily, studies show that excessive use of social media leads to anxiety and depression.

Also, the constant smartphone notifications can overwhelm the brain, making it impossible to concentrate on one thing for long without moving to something else.

Being away from your phone or other electronics offers many benefits, including better sleep quality, improved productivity, reduced stress and anxiety, improved relationships, and better mental health. So, turn off those electronics and put the earbuds away for at least one hour daily. Instead, take a walk, read, meditate, and be sociable.

9. Meditate

You may already know that meditation helps improve clarity, focus, and attention span, and helps you keep calm. But did you know that meditation is also essential for enhancing happiness? Studies show that daily meditation leads to increased positive emotions and reduced depressive symptoms.

Even a 5-minute meditation session can make a significant impact in increasing feelings of calm and contentment. Are you finding it difficult to meditate? You can try some deep breathing exercises.

10. Exercise

You've probably heard that exercise helps you release some feel-good hormones that help relieve pain and stress. Regular exercise also increases your heart rate, making it easier to pump more oxygen to the brain. A well-oxygenated brain makes it easier to manage anxiety and depression.

Moreover, people who exercise regularly are generally happy and have high self-esteem and a positive body image.

The best part is that you don't need to run a marathon to experience the positive effects of exercise. Even 10 minutes of physical activity daily boosts your health and mood.

11. Seek Help from Mental Health Professionals

Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes, it might seem impossible to be happy. If you have tried everything on your own and even consulted some friends and family, but still feel constantly unhappy, it's time to seek help from a mental health professional. 

These professionals will help you improve your coping skills and offer a different perspective on life that you may have ignored. Try a few sessions to see if it lets you see some light in your supposedly dark life.

Yes,. Adults Can Achieve Happiness in Life

It is often said that happy children grow into happy adults, but adult life challenges can sometimes cloud our sense of joy. Yet, as the Harvard Happiness Study reveals, true happiness is always within reach, regardless of our circumstances. 

The secret lies not in wealth, fame, or material success but in the quality of our relationships and the strength of our social ties. By nurturing connections with family, friends, and our broader community, we can protect our physical and mental health and emotional well-being.

Achieving a happy life requires conscious effort. Invest time in the people who matter most, reach out to loved ones, and build meaningful relationships that stand the test of time. Don’t forget to throw in some self-care habits, such as having enough sleep, exercising, and taking care of your mental health.