The 7 Love Languages of Modern Relationships: How Do You Prefer to Give and Receive Love?

Let me take a wild guess. When you saw this title, your first thought was, "Wait, aren’t there only five love languages?" Same here. I’ve known Gary Chapman’s five love languages for years, and they’ve always felt like a reliable way to explain how people give and receive love. So, when I stumbled across the idea of seven love languages, I was skeptical, but curious enough to dig deeper.

The seven new love languages, also called love styles, are activity, appreciation, emotional, financial, intellectual, physical, and practical. They build on Chapman’s original love languages theory, redefining some of the old categories and adding two new ones: emotional and intellectual.

These love styles put words to things many of us have experienced in modern relationships, but never had a name for. Let’s walk through each of them, what they mean, and how they actually show up in everyday life.

What Are the 7 New Love Languages?

It’s worth pausing to ask why we now have seven love languages instead of the original five. In many ways, it’s a testament to Dr. Gary Chapman’s brilliant work that his theory remains so influential decades later. His model, based on his counseling experience with married Christian couples in the 1990s, struck a chord that’s still felt today.

But relationships have changed since then, and researchers wanted to see if the framework still held up. A recent study involving over half a million people found that while Chapman’s ideas were still supported, there were also new patterns worth noting. That’s what led to the redefinition of some categories and the addition of two new love styles.

The new love languages don't replace Chapman's theory. They build on it to reflect the way fulfilling relationships look and feel today, giving us love languages that are more aligned with modern life. 

Here are the 7 love languages of modern relationships.

1. Activity

People with the Activity love language feel loved when their partner takes an active interest in their favorite activities or joins them in the act.

The Activity Love Style is closely related to Chapman’s Quality Time Love Language. However, it goes beyond spending time together and emphasizes your partner taking an active interest in what lights you up. You feel most loved when they step into your world, whether that means trying your hobbies, cheering on your passions, or sharing in the routines that matter to you. 

Real-Life Example of Activity Love Style:
You love going to the gym and pushing through different workouts. Your partner isn’t naturally into fitness, but they still carve out time to show up at your favorite gym and cheer you on. Sometimes they even join a session, just because it matters to you. That effort means more than almost anything else. Another example is your partner sitting through a three-hour basketball game because you’re a die-hard fan, or taking a pottery class with you, even if they’ve never touched clay before.

2. Appreciation

People with the Appreciation love language feel valued when their partner praises and compliments them for their efforts or personal victories.

You love being genuinely seen and valued, whether it’s recognition for your hard work, gratitude for the little things you do, or verbal reminders that your presence makes a difference. You feel most cared for when your partner speaks directly to your worth and effort, letting you know that nothing you do goes unnoticed. The Appreciation Love Language is most similar to Chapman's Words of Affirmation.

Real-Life Example of the Appreciation Love Style:
You’ve had a long day running errands, making dinner, and holding everything together. Your partner notices and says, “I know you’ve been juggling so much today. I really appreciate all you do for us.” That simple acknowledgment can feel more like love than a hug or a gift. Appreciation Love Language may also show up when your partner texts you before a big presentation to say, “You’ve got this, I believe in you,” or thanks you for remembering the small details that make their life easier.

3. Emotional

People with the Emotional love language feel cherished when their partner connects with them and provides emotional support during tough times.

You feel most loved when your partner listens without judgment, validates your feelings, and shares their own vulnerabilities. While Emotional Love Language may sometimes require you to spend quality time with your partner or offer words of affirmation, it is a novel introduction that focuses mainly on building an emotional connection between you and your partner.

Real-Life Example of Emotional Love Style:
You’ve had a rough day and need to vent. Instead of jumping in with solutions or brushing it off, your partner sits with you, listens carefully, and says, “That sounds really hard. I can see why you’re upset.” In that moment, you feel safe, understood, and deeply cared for. Another example might be them checking in on you after a stressful week, or opening up about their own fears and dreams, so you feel closer through mutual vulnerability.

4. Financial

People with the Financial love language feel valued when their partner utilizes their financial resources to make them happy.

The Financial love style expands on the Receiving Gifts love language to include financial care, financial security, planning, and generosity. It goes beyond receiving gifts from your partner. You feel most loved when your partner shares their financial resources freely, plans responsibly for the future, or uses money to create meaningful experiences you can enjoy together.

Real-Life Example of Financial Love Style:
You’ve been stressed about budgeting for a dream trip. Your partner surprises you by setting aside money to cover the tickets, saying, “I wanted to make sure we could do this together.” Their gesture meant everything to you because they chose to invest their money in your happiness. It might also be a less expensive but equally meaningful gesture, like them picking up the bill after a long week to treat you, or being intentional about saving for a shared goal like a home, kids, or retirement.

5. Intellectual

People with the Intellectual love language feel loved when their partner values their intelligence and engages them in deep, meaningful conversations.

Intellectual love style is all about connecting with your partner mentally and having a stimulating conversation that goes beyond surface-level chats. You consider it a deal breaker if your partner cannot keep up with you in conversation. You feel most loved when your partner is curious about your thoughts, respects your opinions, debates ideas with you, or shares insights that spark your mind.

Real-Life Example of Intellectual Love Style:
You’ve just finished reading a thought-provoking article and immediately shared it with your partner. After reading it, they respond, “I found it equally interesting. Tell me what stood out to you.” Before long, you’re deep in a back-and-forth about perspectives, laughing, and maybe even disagreeing a little, but the exchange leaves you feeling closer than ever. It could also be long, late-night conversations about life goals, your partner sending you podcasts they know you’ll love, or spirited debates over movies, politics, or philosophy.

6. Physical

People with the Physical love language feel loved through touch, closeness, and physical affection.

No prizes for guessing which of Chapman's love languages this style is based on. Just like Chapman's Physical Touch love language, this love style extends beyond having intimate moments in the bedroom. You feel loved when your partner reaches for your hand, hugs you after a long day, or sits close while watching a movie. Physical affection is your emotional language, and it communicates safety, warmth, and connection in ways words can’t.

Real-Life Example of Physical Love Style:
You’ve had a stressful day, and the moment your partner wraps you in a long hug, it feels like the weight finally lifts off your shoulders. That simple act of touch tells you more than any words could. It proves that you’re safe, cared for, and not alone. Physical love style also includes rubbing your back while you talk, sneaking in a kiss before heading to work, or leaning on you during a quiet walk.

7. Practical

People with the Practical love language feel valued when their partner helps out with tasks and responsibilities to make their lives easier.

As someone who speaks the Acts of Service love language, I find myself resonating similarly with the Practical Love Style. For us, love is in the small and big thoughtful acts that make life run smoother. It speaks volumes to us when our partner lightens our load, fixes what’s broken, or handles a chore without being asked. Practical love says, “I care about you enough to make your life easier.”

Real-Life Example of Practical Love Style:
You come home after a long day, bracing yourself to tackle the dishes and laundry, only to find your partner has already done them. In that moment, you feel a wave of relief and gratitude, because their effort shows love more clearly than a dozen “I love yous.” Practical love style also shows up when your partner changes your car’s oil so you don’t have to worry, picks up groceries on their way home, or handles a stressful task you’ve been putting off.

New Love Styles, Same Lesson: Understand Yours and Learn Your Partner's

Before I learned about Chapman’s five love languages, I often wondered why my gestures of love didn’t land the way I hoped. I was very much an acts of service person, doing everything to bring my partner pleasure by making their life easier. But it didn’t always come across as love, because my partner preferred words of affirmation. And I wasn’t exactly the most verbally expressive person. (A bit ironic, I know. Especially since I’m a writer.)

Marriage and family therapists explain that because couples rarely share the same love language, effort gets lost in translation when it doesn’t match what our partner values most. Once you figure out your partner's love language, the same energy you’ve been putting in suddenly feels much more meaningful.

That same principle carries into the seven modern love styles. The aim of Chapman’s work still holds, but the scope has expanded to reflect the many ways people in healthy relationships connect today. Maybe for you, it’s still the classics like physical touch or gift giving. Or maybe it’s something newer, like intellectual connection or emotional attunement.

Either way, the lesson remains the same. Learning to bridge different love languages leads to deeper connection and greater relationship satisfaction. Learn to speak your partner’s love style so your efforts can shine through the way it was always meant to.